In the 21st century, we’re bombarded with options, choice, decisions and a universe of external factors which affect the way we feel.
The world, as it stands, is a representation of any situation, in which there are varying levels and restrictions to the things we can influence, change or control. Depending on our position or status within the situation, there’ll be some things we can control and other things - despite how hard we try - which we can’t. Then there’s everything in between.
But we can easily spend all our time and energy trying to change things we have little control over. This can easily become the source of anxiety, stress or feeling low, when that time and energy could be spent far more efficiently, on the things we do have control over.
So it’s worth taking a moment to consider what we have control over and what we don’t. To explore this further, I’ve separated these situations or environments into three layers; the macro-environment, your external environment and your internal environment - the internal, referring to your mind, thoughts, behaviour and reactions.
The macro-environment is an environment or situation, in which we find ourselves, that would be very difficult to change or leave altogether. It could be the aforementioned overwhelming nature of the world around us, global politics or climate change. Or it could an everyday life situations - like a difficult relationship with a family member or living environment.
Most situations, you’d hope, are ones which you could leave, if you wanted to. But as is the case with life in the 21st century, some situations just aren’t that simple. This is what I’m referring to as the macro-environment.
The external environment consists of the things in the immediate world around us, to which we do have a certain level of influence to change. In the bigger picture, it could apply to the way we deal with people, technology or the physical things and situations in our immediate environment.
But again, it could be a person, a living situation, a role at work, or our closer, day-to-day environment - all the things surrounding us, which we can do at least something to change, even if we can’t change it entirely. This is what I’m referring to, as the external environment.
The internal environment is, essentially, our minds; how we see, understand and react to the world, emotions and situations around us. In 21st century society, it could be how we feel about and deal with the feelings that come with political uncertainty, or how we compare ourselves to the lives of others on social media.
But it could also be how we deal with our emotions and react to that difficult family member or colleague; or the beliefs we have about what we're capable of or worth.
Very simply, the further outside of these layers we go, the less control we ultimately have - as illustrated in this handy diagram:
From a very early age, we’re only taught about things, outside of our minds. At school, we’re not taught about how to deal with our irrational instincts or emotions. So we grow up focusing our attention and energy onto those things, because we think they will change the way we feel.
For example, it’s not uncommon for someone to speak or think along the lines of:
“That person made me angry”
“If I buy a bigger house, I’ll feel happy”
“If I achieve that <next thing>, I’ll feel fulfilled”
Though there may be some truth in these statements, we can easily fall into the trap of thinking they’re 100% true. But in reality, the anger felt towards that person is in large part down to our own, personal methods of dealing with anger. The bigger house may easily end up not being enough, as may the achievement - if the lack of fulfillment comes from somewhere deeper inside us.
So as much as we should always assess the external and macro-environments, for what we may be able to change - it’s always worth first considering what it is that’s going on within us, our reactions, beliefs and where our attention would be most effectively focused.
The bonus part about working from the inside out, is that, once we do, that’s when the things around us will begin to change, too. Once we change how you react to other people, that’ll change how they act towards us. Once we’re sure that we can handle the most difficult of situations, that’s when we’re in the strongest position to do something about them.
In handy diagram form, the notion that you can change everything else by first changing yourself, might look a little something like this:
Ultimately, when surrounded by challenges or situations that can be improved, the best place to start is with ourselves and making sure we’ve our own shit together. This can then have a profound effect on everything going on around us.
In order to get our own shit together, we need to take a step back, focus on ourselves and sometimes answer some difficult questions about our strengths, weaknesses, values and beliefs. In doing so, we might uncover some interesting truths - many of which are rooted in parts of us which we never take the time to visit.
So it’s always worth assessing these layers of control and where most of the focus and energy is being placed. Reflecting on what has been, what might be and what others are doing, can be an effective, insightful, often necessary exercise. But focusing too much on the things outside of our control can make us feel helpless, hopeless and frustrated.
That’s also not to say that the macro-environment can’t be changed. It certainly can, particularly when gathering in numbers. Perhaps some situations even require a martyr, if that’s the route you’d like to go down.
But no matter how much attention and energy goes into the macro- or external environments and no matter how successful that campaign might be - if it extends beyond maintaining the internal environment, the the whole thing can easily fall apart.
If, on the other hand, we focus on the things we can control - right here, right now - and take action on it - we feel empowered and can give the best version of ourselves to solving whichever problems we may be facing within the external or macro-environments.